Having a Parent in a Care Home

Caretilt bridges providers of care and support with local authorities. We specialise in accommodation based support for people with Learning Difficulties, Mental Health Issues and Autism. We do not currently work with families directly but understand how having a parent in a care home can be an emotional and challenging experience. Here are some ways you can support both your parent and yourself during this time:

1. Stay Connected

•  Regular Visits: If possible, visit your parent regularly. Face-to-face interaction is comforting and can boost their mood. Try to maintain the regularity so that it becomes a part of their routine. Ask when is the best time to visit e.g. mornings may not be the best time if medication makes them drowsier but they may be better around lunch time
• Phone or Video Calls: If distance is an issue, schedule regular calls or video chats. It helps maintain a sense of connection and is much easier since the Pandemic. 

2. Get Involved

• Participate in Care Planning: Attend care plan meetings to stay informed about your parent’s health and care needs. This involvement allows you to advocate for their preferences. This is especially important if they are struggling with any cognitive impairments.
• Build Relationships with Staff: Get to know the carers. Understanding their roles and building rapport can lead to better communication and care. Ask who is the Team Leader or Keyworker for your parent so that you can check in when needed.

3. Monitor Their Well-being

• Check for Signs of Well-being: Look for signs of happiness, engagement, and good health during visits or calls. If something seems off, discuss it with the care home staff. Sometimes something like a loss of appetite or a low mood could be signs of an infection that they can’t articulate.
• Stay Updated on Health: Keep track of any changes in their medical condition or medications. Ensure they are receiving the right treatments. If possible attend hospital appointments with them. 

4. Engage Your Parent

• Encourage Participation in Activities: Most care homes offer social and recreational activities. Encourage your parent to join in to stay active and socially connected.
• Bring Personal Items: Items from home, like photos, books, or familiar objects, can provide comfort and make their environment feel more personal.
• Bring their favourite treats: Sometimes the food in care homes can seem bland and repetitive. Bring a dessert or a treat that they like can help lift their mood. Check with the care home first as many residents are on strict nutrition plans or can only eat soft foods so toffee may not be a wise decision! 

5. Take Care of Yourself

• Mental Well Being: Make sure that you are also taking care of your own mental well being as it takes a lot to become the primary person responsible for a parent. Share the load with siblings if that is possible although there will always be disproportionate responsibility
• Manage Your Emotions: It’s normal to feel a range of emotions. Consider joining a support group or seeking counseling if needed.
• Stay Organized: Keep a record of important information, such as contact numbers, medication lists, and care plans, to reduce stress. Share this with family members so that they have it too.
• Plan for the Future: Discuss and plan for future care decisions, including any legal or financial matters that need attention. The earlier this is done the better to make sure that you can.

6. Advocate for Their Rights 

• Understand Their Rights: Familiarize yourself with your parent’s rights in the care home to ensure they are treated with dignity and respect. Make sure that staff are speaking with them not just at them and share stories that make it easier for staff to connect with your parent.
• Address Concerns Promptly: If you have any concerns about your parent’s care, address them with the staff or management as soon as possible. There are feedback mechanisms as well as complaints procedures and safeguarding procedures. If you’re still unhappy then you can contact the CQC which is the regulating body. Your options are:
  1.  Write to the care home and ask for weekly updates and maybe even a video call so you can see how she’s doing.
  2. Make a complaint through the care home’s complaint process which should be on their website. If it isn’t then email them and ask for a complaint form.
  3.  Lodge a complaint with the CQC which is the regulating body. This is normally only done once you have exhausted Options 1 and 2.

7. Consider Additional Support

• Hire Additional Care: If needed, consider hiring a private carer for extra support, especially if your parent requires more attention than the care home can provide. This works better if your parent is still able to go out into the community for social activities
• Explore Alternative Care Options: If the current care home doesn’t meet your parent’s needs, research other facilities or care options that might be more suitable. This is common when their needs become primarily nursing as opposed to residential / social care. 

Supporting your parent in a care home involves a combination of regular involvement, communication, and ensuring their well-being while also taking care of yourself. Please check with the local authority on how best to support your parent through this transition.

© Caretilt 2024